So I think I came up with the secret reason you woke up this morning upset over your hair, skin, and nails, which is why I have compiled the 7 unrealistic expectations from Disney princesses. You know you love them, which is why you still proceed to fawn over the perfection of Ariel's hair in any climate, and Cinderella's clear skin. But I think you may have an agreeable perspective when you read the 7 unrealistic expectations from Disney Princesses.
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1. Belle
I think Belle's given me a bit of a beauty complex. She's smart and beautiful (which is nice), but do you ever wonder how she stays so beautiful? She's trapped in a castle with a hairy beast, and never seems to worry about becoming hairy herself. I have also tried her hairstyle (it's easy and pretty), but it doesn't look that sexy. In fact, none of these princesses ever seem to have to worry about the same things we do in real life. I mean what do you do if you get your period while you're trapped in a big ol' castle with a beast (think about that)? Nothing. That's right, you're screwed. Think about that in a beauty perfection complex for a bit, and we'll continue our examination of a few other Disney princesses.
2. Snow White
I must include Snow White for all my fellow pasty girls out there, because it's just unfair that not a single sunburn or mark shows up on that skin. NOT A SINGLE ONE. Just nice little rosy cheeks, that she keeps sparkling with only water from the wishing well. Umm, can I get some of that water? Plus the fact that her lips stay nice and rosy throughout her crazy train adventure. It must be all those apples she eating.
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3. Merida
I also have to include Princess Merida in this (even though the movie had some grave cultural inaccuracies) for the same reason as Snow White, for my curly girlies. Curly hair DOES NOT look that amazing when you wake up. It also DOES NOT form into nice little spirals without the use of at least 7 different hair products and 45 minutes brushing it out. You may ask the 15 minutes I spent working on ONE knot the other day. When you have long curly hair, the struggle is real my friends. The struggle is real.
Beyond the fantasy curls, let's talk about Merida’s flawless complexion—without a single blemish in sight. Reality check: traversing through the forests and archery in the wild won’t leave your skin untouched. We mere mortals rely on a variety of skincare routines, each more elaborate than the last, battling the daily trolls of acne and blemishes. And don't get me started on her physique—athletic without visible training? Unless shooting arrows is the secret workout we've all missed, body goals set by Merida are as mythical as the Will-o'-the-Wisps.
4. Cinderella
Cleans the house all day and not a speck of dirt on her. I think I've made my point. I mean the girl didn't even have to shower before the first time she was planning to go to the ball (I count in magical cleaning for the second). What, does she not think Prince Charming have a sense of smell? I think I can add this to my Belle complex. Oh how I would love to live a life where I never have to shower, shave, or get my period.
5. Princess Tiana
It's another hair issue (in the end it's all a hair issue). Listen, I can tell you I have friends with her hair type, and they will all tell you how unfairly realistic her hair is. Considering in the early 1900s there wasn't much in the realm of haircare products except for a few pomade brands, like the best by the fabulous Madam CJ Walker (tidbit of the day - I wrote my senior thesis on this and other beauty products of the time), her hair looks far too perfect too easily. Even by today's standards. Even though I know she spent a good part of the movie as a frog, her hair still got wet. And it still looked fabulous.
6. Rapunzel
You know I should have just made this article the 7 unrealistic HAIR expectations from Disney Princesses, but I'm already mostly though. And you're invested (at least I hope you are). So picture this, my long hair is a little bit above my boobs, and it can take me up to 45 minutes to an hour to brush it out. I think we can say that Rapunzel's hair is MUCH longer and yet after she brushes it out, she STILL has time to paint and make music- HOW DOES IT NOT TAKE HER ALL WEEK!? This is very puzzling to me, and now I know you're saying "but Alyssa, it's just a movie." But this is an article on unrealistic beauty standards of Disney princesses and this is unrealistic! It would take me more than just that lizard; it would take me the whole forest!
7. Giselle
Enchanted was a GREAT movie (who wouldn't want Patrick Dempsey as their prince?), but even Giselle's a bit unrealistic. Yes in her animated princess life she looks just like every other Disney princess that make us sigh every morning when we look in the mirror. But even I sigh when I see how effortlessly her beauty translates in to the real world. AKA mine, where my hair doesn't look like that, I can't cut a dress from old curtains and my skin burns. Which brings me to the question. When you move from animated Disney princess world to non-animated princess world - do the beauty laws and physics still apply? And vice versa?
So now that I've stirred up your jealousy for all those beautiful Disney princesses, you may go off and be about your day. You're welcome kittens. So what do you think, do you agree with my jealousies or have any more of your own? And do you too try to see if you can make your beauty routine just as minimal and effortless?
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