Ok brace yourself. Hard message coming. You really shouldn’t give a f**k about the messages society sends about how you should look. It’s hard enough to love yourself when you know you have flaws and an imperfect body without external pressure confirming it for you and making you think you need to change. Life’s too short to worry about a bumpy nose, large hands or big thighs. None of these things will affect your ability to succeed in your career, to be a loving partner or to be a great mother. You can learn to love the way you look and be happy with yourself.
The first step to learn how to love the way you look is to run through a list in your mind of all of the flaws that you think you have, and make a conscious effort to let yourself see that these imperfections are only supposed flaws by someone else’s standards. They are what make you unique and beautiful. It might be hard to confront the things that you think are wrong with you, but you will come out feeling better on the other side when you realize that and accept them.
A person can get extremely depressed about their own body and looks if they pay too much attention to advertising and the kind of beauty that the media puts across as being ‘normal’. The only person that looks like Beyoncé is Beyoncé, so do not let commercial advertising make you feel bad for not being as statuesque, or as tall, or as voluptuous. Celebrities have round the clock stylists and photo shop, we don’t!
Be very careful about falling for the traps that the beauty industry set out in their advertising campaigns. If an ad says that 80% of women can’t live without a certain product, it is probably because they have used a sample size of about 20. Just because you can’t afford some of the products that are deemed to be ‘must have’, your look is still as great and as attractive as those who shell out hundreds of dollars.
It’s a 100% fact that every single woman has features about herself that she doesn’t like, and the only difference between confident women and shy women is that they have learned to embrace what they have got instead of spending their time wishing they looked like somebody else. All humans are different, so you should be focusing on being your best self rather than trying to emulate another.
The image on womanhood and femininity that we see portrayed in the modelling world and in the media overall is one that is pretty much unattainable to the every day girl, and you will find that once you start to accept this gap in realism, the way that you look at yourself in the mirror will begin to change. Don’t let Vogue magazine tell you what is beautiful; judge with your own eyes.
Tell yourself every day that you are beautiful. You might not think that it will work, but think about your current situation; you have repeatedly told yourself that you are not good enough compared to others and you believe it. So, imagine what might happen if you make a conscious effort to change your mind set?
This can work in the same way that giving to charity to help others can make you feel good about yourself. If you preach a message of body positivity and being happy with what you have got, not only will you help others to be more confident with their looks, it will also star to filter back through to you and give you a better sense of personal well being on the subject.
Life’s too short to waste time on worrying about not conforming to society’s ideas of beauty. Embrace your looks. There is only one of you in the world and you are unique and beautiful.
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