All Women's Talk

20 Subtle Ways to Increase Your Sex Appeal ...

By Lyndsie

There are lots of subtle, elegant ways to increase your sexy appeal. You don't have to drastically change your hair, your makeup, or the way you dress. You don't have to be ostentatious, overly bold, or uncomfortable in your own skin. Subtly, naturally increasing your sex appeal is quite easy, so easy that it will actually come naturally to you. You won't have to feel like a fake, trying to be someone you're not. Remember, sexiness is a state of mind, and if you project your own definition of sexiness, people will respond. So if you want to learn how to increase your sex appeal while still maintaining your own sense of self, just keep reading!

1 Pick Your Sexy

One of the best ways to increase your sex appeal is to pick your own sexy. What's sexy to you? Maybe you prefer something understated, perhaps you're a fan of old school Bohemia, or maybe you love the pinup girl style. You might even like some mix of conventionally sexy archetypes, which enables you to create something uniquely you. Just think about it for a little while, and determine what you think is sexy.

2 Find Some Inspiration

If you're having trouble or if you just want to see your particular sexiness in action, then look for inspiration, even a mentor. The best way to increase your sex appeal is to see it in action. If you love the look of old Hollywood, think about stylish icons like Audrey Hepburn for graceful, sophisticated, elegant beauty; Marilyn Monroe for bold, brazen, sexy femininity; Marlene Dietrich for androgynous, rough-edged beauty; and so on. If you like the wide eyed waifish thing, look for actresses or supermodels who represent that style. Maybe you want to take hints from the Material Girl, perhaps you adore someone like Emma Stone, Diane Keaton, or Lady Gaga. There are no right or wrong answers here, you can be inspired by anyone – and no, they absolutely don't have to be famous.

3 Who Are You?

To truly be sexy, you have to know who you are. You don't want to manufacture a facade that doesn't fit you at all. Look deep inside yourself. That might sound cliché, but it's very necessary. You absolutely have to know yourself if you want to figure out what works for you. Take a look at your likes and dislikes, your hobbies, your interests, and your current style choices. You don't have to change yourself completely, especially if you're looking for subtle sex appeal. If you wear Boho chic now, you can easily twist your personal style into something a little sexier. Which brings me to...

4 Survey Sexy Style Choices

There are several ways to show off your sex appeal, many of which have nothing to do with the way you look. That being said, clothing choices really do matter. Discovering what's out there and what you like best are the best ways to find out what works for you. If you like the look of lace, pearls, and floating chiffon, there are ways to incorporate those kinds of pieces into your every day wardrobe, whether you're going to work, school, or on a date. There's no single way to wear any type of clothing. For instance, if you find leather sexy, don't think you have to wear leather leggings even if you're not comfortable with them. Instead, try a leather jacket or a blazer; there are even lots of stylish but subtle tops. And, of course, never forget about the accessories.

5 Work on Your Confidence

Nothing says “sexy” more than ample confidence. Now, I'm not talking about cockiness, arrogance, or smugness. Confidence is a state of mind. It makes you feel good without making anyone else feel bad (because kindness is also sexy). At the same time, if you don't think you're beautiful, sexy, and awesome, how can you believe that anyone else does? You have to be your own number one fan, without being cocky. What you project is what others see. Walk into a room with your head high, your shoulders back, and a smile on your face. As a matter of fact...

6 Flash a Smile

Smiling is sexy. Period. The end! But seriously, who can resist anyone with a bright, happy smile on their face? Male or female, a smile brightens both your outlook and your overall look. Happiness is sexy, too, much more so than a downcast, moody demeanor – and this is coming from a girl who's frequently moody herself. In the end, it's not about clothes, makeup, or your hair, although they can and do help your confidence levels. It's about how you feel inside. When you feel good about yourself, you feel better about the world, and then smiling comes much more naturally – you just can't help yourself!

7 Learn How to Smize

I hate to use a word largely coined by Tyra Banks, but she's got it right. I'm definitely not asking you to mimic the girls you see on ANTM though, I promise. However, eye contact is one of the best ways to increase your sex appeal at a subtle level. Whether you smile or smolder with your eyes, you can easily telegraph your emotions through eye contact. You might try to catch the eye of someone with whom you simply want to chat, or maybe your trying to capture the attention of someone to whom you're attracted. Either way, say it with your eyes. Eye contact is important even when you're just speaking to someone: a friend, a colleague, your boss, or someone special. And again, by maintaining it, you're also showing off serious confidence.

8 Risky Business

A lot of the best tips for increasing your sex appeal have to do with the way you act, not the way you look. That's because sexiness comes from within, not from without. Being bold enough to take risks and chances helps a lot. I'm not encouraging you to be reckless, but dare to be daring, you know? If there's something you've always wanted to do but haven't been courageous enough to try, go for it. It doesn't matter if it's chatting up someone you like, learning how to roller blade, or taking a cake decorating class. Just take the risk and reap the rewards, because having the courage to try new things is quite sexy, too.

9 Get Your Groove on

You know what else is sexy? Dancing. Okay, this one might seem a little nutty, but stay with me, all right? Sometimes, as I go about my day, ear buds firmly in place, I choose songs that make me feel like my life is a movie, and I've got the starring role. Sure, I might only be dancing by myself (and yes, Billy Idol is on my rotation), but it still makes me feel like a million dollars. I do the same thing at the grocery store, while I'm walking the dogs or riding my bike, and even while I'm cooking dinner. You don't have to actually dance, but if you're out and the mood strikes you, go to it – and don't tell yourself you can't dance. I promise, you've got the moves like Jagger, too, you don't even know it.

10 Work Your Attitude

Sexiness, like confidence, is a state of mind, and feeling sexy often starts with your attitude. Maybe you're the funny girl, the sweet girl, the edgy girl, or the sarcastic girl – all of those personality types are sexy. So are dozens, if not hundreds, of others, and all the possible combinations therein. The key is having a good attitude as well. Be funny, or edgy, or sweet, or sarcastic, but be nice, too. Because you know what personality type isn't sexy? The mean girl – not even if she looks like Regina George.

11 Showcase Your Smarts

Every woman, every woman in the world, is smart. Book smarts, street smarts, specialty smarts – never, ever dumb it down for anyone. Whether you know math theorems or the combined works of John Keats or every movie trivia fact ever, show it. Share it. Reveal it to your friends, your family members, your colleagues, and your romantic interests. Show them what you're good at, share with them what you know. Brains are sexy too. In fact, to some, intelligence is the sexiest asset there is.

12 Play to Your Strengths

What are your best features? Whether it's your smile, your sense of humor, your personal style, your eyes, or something else entirely, you have to play to it. Make the most of it. You have to work with what you've got and highlight what you love. Now, that doesn't mean walking around in skin tight clothing if you like your figure or caking on lipstick if you like your lips. Be subtle about it, because in the end, that will actually draw more attention. Mystique is a huge part of sex appeal!

13 Embrace Your Body

Your body is beautiful. It doesn't matter if you're tall or short, if you have long legs or short stems, if you're curvaceous or if your body is composed of straight lines and sharp angles. You are beautiful, and it is so important to feel comfortable in your own skin. Embrace your body just as it is. If you want to work on it, do it for yourself, not anyone else. Remember that health is much more important than anything the scale tells you, as well. Not only should you embrace yourself, but embrace other women for their bodies and beauty as well. Don't criticize someone as being fat or thin or short or flat chested – because how do you feel when people do that to you?

14 Learn from the past

You know what they say: those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. It's true, though. You have to come to terms with your past before you dive into the future, even when it comes to sex appeal. Think about anything you've done that has made you feel sexy and sensual and beautiful, in terms of clothing choices, makeup, hairstyles, and perhaps most importantly, attitude and behavior. Go with the things that worked, or else reinvent them so they work for you at this state of your life. The things that didn't work, that made you uncomfortable, drop them like hot potatoes. Move on.

15 Laugh It out

Laughing is just as sexy as smiling, you know. If you want to learn how to increase your sex appeal, turn to your sense of humor. Open yourself up to the funny things in life, even if it means laughing at yourself every so often! Tell jokes, listen to them, share anecdotes, and turn the tragic into something sublime. Trust me, life's a lot easier when you learn to laugh, and there's nothing sexier than a girl who's willing to admit when something's funny.

16 Get Passionate

This does not actually refer to your behavior in the bedroom, although I suppose it can. What I mean is that women (or men) who are passionate about their lives, their hobbies, their likes, and their dislikes, are far sexier than those people who don't seem to take an interest in anything. In addition to sharing your strengths, make sure you have passion for the things at which you excel. Whether it's deep sea diving or speed reading, own it, share it, and show how strongly you feel about it. There's nothing better than knowing your own mind.

17 Know Your Body's Language

Perfecting your body language is one of the most essential ways to increase your sex appeal. You don't have to walk into a room going va-va-voom with your hips or anything, but you should know what your body is saying. Again, always keep your head up high, look people in the guy, and be open. Be expressive, don't be afraid to gesticulate. Body language is about much more than crossing your legs toward someone you fancy. Don't try to make yourself invisible, let your body language telegraph your confidence and self assurance.

18 Tickle the Senses

Tickling the senses of those around you is a sure fire way to improve your sex appeal, and there are many ways to go about it. You might choose to wear an exotic, titillating perfume or lotion, for example. You might also choose to wow with a red lip, or play the coquette with a pretty, over-the-shoulder braid. The point is to make yourself memorable, which you can even do by following the above strategies concerning confidence, eye contact, and laughter.

19 Interaction Attraction

You'll never know what kind of sex appeal you already have unless you interact with other people. That absolutely does not mean that you have to walk around flirting with everyone you see. However, be open to interaction, throw yourself into it. Keep in mind that you don't have to be interested in someone sexually to attract them, nor do they have to be attracted with you. I've initially made friends with people just because their charisma wooed me into a conversation.

20 Believe in Yourself

Most importantly, you have to believe in yourself. If you don't think you're beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, amazing, and wonderful, no one else will, either. You have to believe that you can go out and make friends, acquaintances, or even dates, just by doing what makes you comfortable. Know how awesome you are from the get go, let that awesomeness shine onto other people, and then, my darlings, you will be sexy.

Mind you, since everyone defines “sexiness” differently, there are endless ways to increase your sex appeal. You might prefer to be bold and in-your-face, and that's totally okay! If you can pull it off and feel beautiful to doing it, then go for it, baby! However, for those girls and women who are more comfortable with something natural and subtle, then these tips are fantastic starting points. How do you go about increasing your sex appeal?

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